Episode 3: Dangerously Disguised Transcript
Cheshire Narrator: "Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July."
Millicent (Narrating): The expected etiquette of a young lady from our family during Mother’s tea time is not a standard I can say with any certainty my sister has ever achieved. Now yes, she knew of all the proper postures & procedures she was to follow, but invariably there was one detail or dangling bauble off in the distance to distract my dear sister & send the event into disarray.
However, at the very least she had been my sister. Clearly & recognizably, my sister. Now Mary Ann, you see, is many things, & quite beautiful, but she is not Alice.
Mother might not generally concern herself with the goings-on of our lives at length, & truer still I have caught no gaze or glance from her since Father’s departure. Yet surely still, the simple sight of someone masquerading as her own daughter couldn’t be concealed, could it?
They do bear some striking resemblances, I’ll grant you that much. Something in the eyes & most certainly their hair, glowing & golden; Truth be told, I envy it so, but there’s no masking this to Mother! A glance, by chance, she may…
Eureka, that’s it! We’ll restrict Mother to a simple glance! Yes, that’s it, a glance & nothing more! A big hat, oh, some distracting charms & bangles, Mother won’t be any the wiser! If I just keep up most of the conversation, if in fact there is any, & lately…
***
Mary Ann: “But I told you, Millie! I have already attended tea before. You needn’t worry, it’s illogical.”
Millicent: “Now, see here, my dear Mary Ann! When so soon we bonded over study & reason? How can you say so?”
Mary Ann: “To worry is to be weary, & to be weary is to be weak, & to be weak will ill prepare you to face whatever your worry was. So I say again, it is illogical.”
Millicent: “Alright then! We shall prepare. Is that better? We’ll leave worrying for the weak. Though I’m not sure I trust these tea parties you said you’ve had. Where was it again?”
Mary Ann: “Wonderland! The Hatter has them all the time. ‘Why is a raven like a writing-desk?’”
Millicent: “Why is what like a what?”
Mary Ann: “I don’t know. I’m really wretched with riddles but I do hear that one often. I prefer to spend my time trying to perfect my posture.”
Millicent: “If you follow my lead, we will positively plow through tea time & come out cleaner than the King’s knickers.”
Mary Ann: “Your King still has his head?”
Millicent: “I think that confirms no conversation.”
Mary Ann: “Do I sound like your sister? Somewhat? Slightly? Oh no, clearly not nearly. How about now?”
Millicent: “No, no, Mary Ann, no need to throw your voice. You’ll be brilliant like this. Mother rarely inquires anything of us but rather fusses with the sandwiches or stays sort of sat there. If we’re lucky, she won’t move much & we’ll be quiet as mice.”
Mary Ann: “She sounds lovely! So perfectly predictable & non-threatening. No nasty naves or trials. Tasty treats too! Beautiful bonnets & blouses! I am absolutely alight!”
***
Millicent (Narrating): Mary Ann was attentive & focused, if a little excitable, & I have to say I felt somewhat saddened to find her more suitable as a sister. I couldn't have helped this feeling & I certainly can confirm I hadn't asked for it. I love my sister dearly, I do, but we are just at odds.
There was something so syncopated between Mary Ann & I. So much so it was all I could do but to hope she stayed with us forever! She was eager to learn & follow rules without becoming distracted. Think of all the classes I’ve taught Alice & how different they’d be had I not dealt with distraction & derision!
***
Mary Ann: “Oh, I’ve studied those! I do love to study. Do you have any books? Can we study?”
***
Millicent (Narrating): Yes, much more suitable I do think. But I hadn’t time to sort that out, as I heard the clock chime for tea. Mother would be waiting.
Thanks for listening to Phantomwise. Phantomwise stars Beth Crane, Beth Eyre, Jordan Adika, and Fiona Thraille. Dialogue editing and placement was done by Gabriel Alvarez, Score composed by Adam Raymonda. Phantomwise was written and produced by A.R. OLIVIERI and directed and executive produced by PJ Scott-Blankenship. Based on the work of Lewis Carroll. You can find out more at http://phantomwisepod.com or our twitter and instagram @phantomwisepod
If you enjoy our show, consider checking out our sister series, Hit the Bricks. A musical radio-play based on the Oz books starring Michelle Agresti. You can listen to Hit the Bricks on any podcatcher, or by going to http://hitthebricks.com Thanks again!